There is always a Good Bye
I have been putting off this blog for a while now. I feel like I have so much to say but I never can find the right words. And maybe today isn't the best day to start this, but I am going to anyways.
Here I am, saying Good Bye again. My last post talks about my love for my first home, and looking forward to being home where ever I am in my trailer. But yesterday I left Montana, and felt as though I had just left the place I most belonged. I loved growing up in Oregon but it never really felt like I fit there. Arizona was a bit closer. And when I bought my first house, the people who shared that house with me, made it home. But in Montana, my heart was so full.
In May I moved to Montana to work at Glacier National Park for the summer. It was an incredible summer to say the least. I got to experience all four seasons at the park in five months. For the most part, I worked at Logan Pass. The view along the Going-to-the-Sun-Road of Birdwoman Falls is easily one of my favorite views of the park. Which is part of why I had it tattooed on my arm. To say I fell in love with Glacier National Park and Montana would be an understatement.
This is not the first time I have left a place and people I love. The first time I left Arizona, last summer, I wasn’t entirely sure when I was going to come back. I knew that I would, I just didn’t know when. It was more of a temporary good bye. During that first summer on the road, I had to say good bye to places and people on a weekly basis. It was a challenging summer in many ways. When I came back it wasn’t long before I was off again. But “permanently”. I sold my house and had no absolutely necessary reasons to return, other than to see friends and family. It was a harder good bye. There was no “I will see you in three months.” It was just, I am leaving and I don’t know when I will be back. I knew I would see my sister, aunt, and uncle again… but I didn’t know when I would see anyone else. And I had to leave some pretty amazing people.
As hard as that time was, I think yesterday was harder. Not only was I saying good bye to people I cared about, but also a place that I felt more connected to than anyplace before. Everyone there welcomed me with open arms. I felt as though I was leaving my home yet again.
It didn’t help that I was alone in my car, slowly driving across three states for the better part of 30 hours before I had a proper meal. By the time I got to Mount Rushmore, I was tired, hungry, emotional, and beat up. I had spent most of the day questioning my life choices. I have always highly valued my freedom. I mean, that is one of the main reasons people opt for a life on the road. But I kept thinking, at what point does the pain of saying good bye to people and places I love, defeat the love of freedom with life on the road. Maybe it already has. Maybe by the time I get to Kentucky I will fall in love again.
But there I was, considering my next move. Underneath the monument of Presidents representing Independence, Growth, Development, and Preservation. Together representing Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.
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